i live in (or around) los angeles.
i do not think i live in a bubble (as much as people may suppose); and, if we cut across it all i think most places are the same. if there are people there, that is.
i am cleansing - my body. not sure where it's at, but i feel pretty darn good. thinking i may do this at least once a year.
something about that makes me think: why not do that for my body or for my soul?
a part of that is for me to NOT compare my self to other selves. such a temptation. such an easy trap to fall into.... my big traps are:
1. where is my 401k???
2. where is my cowboy???
3. where is my house on the prairie???, and babies filling the yard.
the a little bright voice responds to me: but, are you happy now?
my answer: yes.
i may not have the social conventions that would make my family and friends comfortable, but i am happy. (don't get me wrong: i get angry, sad and frustrated by myself and the three big questions above; but in it - at the core - i am happy).
where i am at now is a cleansing of emotions. i am in the days between days trying to understand myself better. for example: why do i feel are care so deeply? why is every detail important? why does it feel so hard, when in my gut i know it shouldn't be...
well, i am not about to try to answer these things - i'm just going to let it go. breathe it out and trust when i am ready i will understand and the next big questions will come along and a new set of frustrations with it.
for now - almost two weeks into this cleanse and i feel pretty darn good.
i do not think i live in a bubble (as much as people may suppose); and, if we cut across it all i think most places are the same. if there are people there, that is.
i am cleansing - my body. not sure where it's at, but i feel pretty darn good. thinking i may do this at least once a year.
something about that makes me think: why not do that for my body or for my soul?
a part of that is for me to NOT compare my self to other selves. such a temptation. such an easy trap to fall into.... my big traps are:
1. where is my 401k???
2. where is my cowboy???
3. where is my house on the prairie???, and babies filling the yard.
the a little bright voice responds to me: but, are you happy now?
my answer: yes.
i may not have the social conventions that would make my family and friends comfortable, but i am happy. (don't get me wrong: i get angry, sad and frustrated by myself and the three big questions above; but in it - at the core - i am happy).
where i am at now is a cleansing of emotions. i am in the days between days trying to understand myself better. for example: why do i feel are care so deeply? why is every detail important? why does it feel so hard, when in my gut i know it shouldn't be...
well, i am not about to try to answer these things - i'm just going to let it go. breathe it out and trust when i am ready i will understand and the next big questions will come along and a new set of frustrations with it.
for now - almost two weeks into this cleanse and i feel pretty darn good.
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