there's a part of me the wants to quietly slip away for a while and come back when i'm ready to be again. be what? the person people like to like more when i am the more me than the me me, or something like that. this is where i know who people are to me. the ones that just don't care so long as i show up. (because they know, i will show up). so then there is born the strange choice: in the next six weeks left in the year - i won't call, write or text anyone, unless in response to or required to. (but damn, that would be boring). so no. no strange choices for me.
*
detox got awful that last week. i thought about never doing it again, but then i realized: what if it's actually getting to where it needs to be? therefore: after thanksgiving i'm going to start a liver and lung cleanse: time to get rid of the cellular memory of pain, anger, sorrow, jealousy, blah blah blah.... the more of that stuff i get rid of, the more room i will have for love and therefore offer more.
*
he likes to write to me, but he needs a response. i've stopped responding. it's not fair to either one of us. this situation, any of it. so i am walking away from his version of poetry and into my very real life.
all love,
m
*
detox got awful that last week. i thought about never doing it again, but then i realized: what if it's actually getting to where it needs to be? therefore: after thanksgiving i'm going to start a liver and lung cleanse: time to get rid of the cellular memory of pain, anger, sorrow, jealousy, blah blah blah.... the more of that stuff i get rid of, the more room i will have for love and therefore offer more.
*
he likes to write to me, but he needs a response. i've stopped responding. it's not fair to either one of us. this situation, any of it. so i am walking away from his version of poetry and into my very real life.
all love,
m
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