09.16.13

how do we repair ourselves?  is there a way?
i want to move to London - my mind already has, leaving behind a void (or maybe that's my missing heart).
i want to be in love with him, but he lives in Paris so that kind-of means he's in love with every woman...  maybe he sees me in them?
   so - let it be settled:  i want to be settled.
(maybe i wasn't cut out for happiness the way everyone else seems to be)

09.11.13

“two people who were once very close can
without blame
or grand betrayal
become strangers.
perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world.” 
― Warsan Shire

somehow - this reminds me of serval things and people.

i am in a new place, with new dynamics, but constantly reminded of a past life...

i wonder about how we got here?  did we just start mid conversation and picked up where we left off in some other life?  because, i never knew about your pain or soreness - and i know you knew nothing of mine.  i just know that i was drawn to a strength and peace you seemed to so effortless offer (and some will tell me - maybe even you - that it was projected, but i don't believe that to be true).  it took some time for us to actually open to know each other.  maybe i just move slowly.  i know i did with him and lost so much time.  "boundaries" they tell me.  what does that mean?  we lose time and hearts to time and boundaries...  maybe it was easy with him because he and i picked up mid-conversation too.  maybe the language barrier allowed us to communicate more honestly with the words we knew.

maybe.