10.31.2014

self assignment :  breathe.
self goal :  breathe.
                                                         i am awake, and as such:  there is hope.

i asked him how he does it.  get by.  (the answer was short, sweet, and honest.  but nothing i can use.  not for me.)
   |  for those who have been down the rabbit hole, it is hard to not remember it.  think about it.  sometimes even miss it.  there was a predictability in that unpredictability.  but me, i like steadiness.  i like routine.  i like commitment and the moreness of life.  |

self assignment :  serve more / do more / be more / love more  (and try to trust more)

10.28.2014

It's been a while.  I've been overwhelmed and underwhelmed...  I think the overriding feeling, however, has been:  not enough.
                                 i'm not enough.

It's an interesting life, this one.  Exhausting.  This is not a reflection of anything other than :  things should have turned out different, no?

I'd say a moment to catch my breath would be great, but I'm not sure a moment is enough.  I'm grateful, and sometimes sad.  I'm happy, and sometimes lacking.  I'm hopeful, and sometimes sure that this is it...

A friend last night said:  you need to write down what makes you feel vulnerable and play with that.
       
So.  It's been a while.  I've been overwhelmed and underwhelmed...  I think the overriding feeling, however, has been:  not enough.
                                            i'm disappointed that i have disappointed so many people (that i love and admire); including myself.