06.19.13

there was a dream i had, years and years ago, that became a memory.  it has been one of the most visceral experiences of my life.  using words i know:  i was in a city familiar to me (but not real) and i know/knew the some of the people.  refined, intelligent, loving and beautiful people.  the colors were bright and vivid, i could smell sweet flowers and breads and life.  i could smell the life, and then the fear.  a great fear started to sweep over the people, and they were running inside and locking their doors and i kept asking:  "what is happening?"  no one really answered me, other than the echo of "the beast is coming"

i became frightened as well, but i can't tell you if it was my own fear or the acceptance of theirs.  but i decided that i wanted to see what they were all so afraid of.  the brightness went away, the sweet smells went away, and replaced by nothing.  there were shadows with no true light, and that is when i saw it.  a massive shadowy beast.  i didn't run, i walked towards it.  locked eyes with it.  and we spoke without words; and, i walked close enough to pet it (touch its face).  it was rough and soft and coarse and smooth.  in words that i don't know if i can really translate, i told it:  you are beautiful / you are not the ugly one.  it heard me.  it bowed in response.  i told it:  "let's go home."  the road we were on presented a door (more like a wooden gate) and with a touch i opened it.  before us opened a beautiful valley.  something so honest, i knew this was our way home.

i turned to the beast and told it:  "we don't belong here.  let's go."   (i can not explain the sense of peace and simultaneous longing i felt in that moment, i was leaving a place i had known with a beast that everyone feared - but i was happy and i trusted).  when we passed through the gate - the world behind us disappeared and the beast's behavior turned into what i may describe as a puppy - pure unconditional love.

i suppose that's what it all is about:  pure unconditional love....