"nothing i want to say has words in it
but we're back here again anyway. the habit of things.
gravity. addiction."
~him
a short letter (that i'll never send):
we have a way with words, don't we? some(most)times i pretend i don't know much, but somehow i end up writing the contracts and the policies and the.... but that's not the kind of writing we like, is it? we? oh - i'm not third personing it. i am thinking about us - remember? you and me and whomever we chose to include. a whim? no, it was more than that. they never really spent the time to know you - see past your charm. i never saw it (the charm i mean). and you never cared that i was always angry... maybe you liked that?
i'm breaking the habit. she said she saw it in me, tonight. that made me feel like i was flying... we talked about you for a minute. she misses you, but not more that us (me and the other her). you'll come visit soon. i know you will. you'll make everyone laugh with your wit and charm, and when you are tired you'll call me and we'll sit on the hard wood floors of some room in some house (maybe hers, because she likes us.) and we will drink tea and sit quietly - like we do. and she'll sit there too, quietly, taking us in. and we'll crack a joke and she'll laugh. and we'll feel like the children we never really were, or maybe the ones we want... and the stillness will be what saves us. that effortless joy that comes with just a cup of tea and quiet and hope that tomorrow's sun with burn away yesterday's dark.
you have a way with words, don't you? a part of me thinks that this works because i can keep up without caring so much; and because i care so much - enough to stay still (for you).
but we're back here again anyway. the habit of things.
gravity. addiction."
~him
a short letter (that i'll never send):
we have a way with words, don't we? some(most)times i pretend i don't know much, but somehow i end up writing the contracts and the policies and the.... but that's not the kind of writing we like, is it? we? oh - i'm not third personing it. i am thinking about us - remember? you and me and whomever we chose to include. a whim? no, it was more than that. they never really spent the time to know you - see past your charm. i never saw it (the charm i mean). and you never cared that i was always angry... maybe you liked that?
i'm breaking the habit. she said she saw it in me, tonight. that made me feel like i was flying... we talked about you for a minute. she misses you, but not more that us (me and the other her). you'll come visit soon. i know you will. you'll make everyone laugh with your wit and charm, and when you are tired you'll call me and we'll sit on the hard wood floors of some room in some house (maybe hers, because she likes us.) and we will drink tea and sit quietly - like we do. and she'll sit there too, quietly, taking us in. and we'll crack a joke and she'll laugh. and we'll feel like the children we never really were, or maybe the ones we want... and the stillness will be what saves us. that effortless joy that comes with just a cup of tea and quiet and hope that tomorrow's sun with burn away yesterday's dark.
you have a way with words, don't you? a part of me thinks that this works because i can keep up without caring so much; and because i care so much - enough to stay still (for you).
1 comment:
this is beautiful
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